Preface

About twenty-five years ago I had a year that included an experience with death once per month for twelve months in a row. Like some cosmic clock, from my grandfather to my housemate’s father, wife’s beloved calico cat, best friend’s dog, three children, two babies, a coworker, and others.

Each passing was unique, from natural aging to euthanasia, accidents, suicide, chromosomal failure, heart attack, and miscarriage. My varied relationships and roles with each offered a profound mosaic of perspectives on loss and love. I’ve come to consider this my 101 level learning in the school of life’s study of living with death.

The years of 2021 and 2022 were another such period riddled with fourteen or more deaths, framing my life with a continual presence of profound loss. This time, my learning edges emerged in deeper currents through nearly traumatic exposure to the process and experience of dying as well as losing and beginning to rediscover myself through layers and layers of grief.

I’ve learned much from these many varied encounters with death and continue to find new insights and self-affirmation every time I choose to look again and revisit one of these events.

This book follows one remarkable story, what happened, and how it changed me. There are no conclusions or formulas here, just a sharing of something unspeakable and without any need for resolution in my experience of coming to see death as one source of personal transformation which I could never be blessed to receive any other way.

I have a profound hope that reading this serves to connect you with your own experience in ways that are healing. I also hold this offering as the start to a conversation and would love to hear from you if you are at all compelled to reach out.

Perhaps together, we can celebrate how our world is more compassionate, peaceful, healthy, and alive when we choose to share more openly about life’s lessons and gifts in death.